A LIFE WELL LIVED - EULOGY DELIVERED NOV 16, 2013

How do you condense almost 9 decades of life into a few short minutes? A life lived over some 3 continents and through some of the most turbulent times our world has ever experienced. I’m not sure it’s doable, but I am going to try and share with you some of the highlights of his story, some of the key moments that shaped the man we came to know and love, and some of the lessons that he left with our family.

I will put in a disclaimer right up front – this is my best attempt to assemble His story, but I’ll go easy on names, places, and dates as they are all subject to debate – if you ever tried to get a story out of my Dad and his siblings you’ll know you can’t get too far before one or the other of them will disagree and give you their alternative and more “Correct” version.

SCENE 1 – A FARM BOY IN A RURAL RUSSIA

A few generations back before Dad was born, his family was part of the group of German farmers that Catherine the Great brought to the Ukraine area of Russia to get their economy in motion. The Germans were industrious and hardworking and quickly established themselves as the upper middle class alongside their less diligent Russian neighbours. My Dad’s family had become quite prosperous but when the Russian revolution hit, most of the family’s wealth was stripped away.

By the time Dad came on the scene in 1924 his family had begun to re-establish themselves. My Grandfather raised and sold horses and as a result Dad had a lifelong passion for horses. Living in Elmira must have been a reminder for him of his childhood in a small agricultural community. He shared many stories of that time as a child, most were fond memories of happy times – working with his Parents and family on their farm, exciting trips to neighbouring towns and cities, and even a few dramatic tales of fending off hungry wolves with his Dad by his side.

LIFE LESSON ONE
CHERISH YOUR MOMENTS WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS; YOU NEVER KNOW HOW LONG THEY WILL LAST.

SCENE 2 – MAN OF THE FAMILY

We jump ahead to the late 30s and Mr.Hitler was rattling his saber and at the bread basket of Russia to expand his empire east. Communist authorities took the threat seriously decided to remove all potential “German” rebels and move them to a place where they would not be in a position to help Germany should war break out. One day in 1937, Russian soldiers came to Dad’s village and rounded up all able bodied adult males and shipped them off to Siberia. My Dad lost his father and his 2 older brothers that day, never to see them again. He was 13 and care free when he woke up that morning, and by sunset he was the man of the family – with a little brother and 2 young sisters for him and his grieving Mother to look after.

For a few brief years their village struggled to come to grips with their new reality. Women like my Oma stepped into roles they never dreamed they would have to carry, and young boys like Dad became men overnight. Just as they were settling into their new way of life, World War 2 broke out and Hitler made good of his threats to head east. Suddenly - being industrious and German speaking were the wrong things to be in the eastern regions of Russia.

As the war came calling, farming communities were stripped of their food and livestock, and the concept of ownership of land and buildings was tenuous at best. Dad’s family had to leave their home on several occasions. The front line moved back and forth near Dad’s village and one night – in Gods provision - they received word that the Russians were advancing and were depopulating the German villages along the way. That night Dad and Oma along with their family and friends loaded their children, a few possessions and as much food as they could gather onto wagons, hitched up the few remaining horses and headed out into the night. That night they started what would turn out to be a harrowing 2 year journey west through battle scared countryside looking for a new place to call home.

There are many stories to share about this journey, and each deserve more time than I have this morning – like huddling in bombed out buildings for the night trying to keep from freezing, seeing soldiers corpses littering the road, and diving into ditches for safety as a fighter planes overhead mistake their refugee wagons for a supply train – suffice it to say they were times unlike anything my generation has ever faced and they definitely changed everyone who lived through them.

LIFE LESSON TWO
TODAY WE LIVE LIVES OF SUCH RICHES AND ABUNDANCE AND BLESSING AND FREEDOM AND WE SHOULD NEVER TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED.

SCENE 3 – YOU’RE IN THE ARMY NOW

At some point shortly after their exodus began the German military started grabbing every able bodied man they could find and putting a gun in their hand and sending them off to the eastern front. Dad was pulled away from his family and conscripted. But God was always already looking out for Dad, and a family friend in the conscription office was able to shave 2 years off his age and pass Dad off as just shy of 16 thanks to Dad’s height (or lack thereof) and thin build. And thanks to good old German rules and regulations, that made him officially too young to serve in a combat role.

ON A SIDE NOTE- This date change has stuck with his official paperwork and followed him to Canada. While it saved him from fighting on the Russian front, it cost him 2 extra years before he could retire. And more recently it became an issue as doctors were constantly asking his birthdate and Mom and I constantly had to explain his little war story. Even here at Walser - you’ll see October 18th, 1926 on some of his remembrances, and his real birthdate of November 24, 1924 on others.

But back to our story - a bright young man fluent in both German and Russian was very a valuable commodity in Eastern Europe in 1942, so he was enlisted as a translator for the German army. He didn’t talk as much about this period of his life, but we know he worked with the German army as they were slowly retreating back to Germany, driving ambulance for a time when he wasn’t needed as a translator. One can one guess the horrors he witnessed during those year. But we do know at some point shortly after the war, through another move of our God he was reconnected with his family who had survived the past 3 years with the help of many kind strangers in various places in Poland and northern Germany. If you want dates and places, feel free to chat with Hilda and Mary after the service, and they will both give you their own very unique and different versions of those years.

LIFE LESSON THREE
ALWAYS REMEMBER GOD MADE YOU PERFECT - YOU ARE THE SIZE AND SHAPE YOU ARE FOR A REASON – AND IN DAD’S CASE BEING SHORT MAY JUST HAVE SAVED HIS LIFE THAT DAY.

SCENE 4 – A FRESH START

God moved once again and through a series of minor miracles Dad’s family reconnected with some distant relatives in Canada and in 1947, they were among the first refugees who left Germany for a new life in North America. After a gruelling crossing of the Atlantic (where Dad got himself a job in the galley to help keep the family properly fed) they were on their way to their new life in Morris, Manitoba. The Baptist church there took them in and soon they had a house of their own, a couple animals, and jobs which allowed them to very quickly become self-sufficient. Dad took whatever work was available – he worked in the sugar beet fields, was a lumberjack for a time, and worked laying track on the railroad. For a family who had been through a decade of tragedy, Canada was the Promised Land, flowing with milk and honey.

Morris is where Dad’s faith had the time to blossom. My Oma had always been a woman of faith, she taught her children to pray, to trust in Jesus and hold on to God regardless of difficulties life threw at them, but it wasn’t until coming to Canada that Dad had a chance become part of a faith community and see the power of God revealed through the actions of his people. He was soon active in their new church, and constantly volunteering wherever he could lend a hand. He helped build the Emmanuel Baptist Church in Morris, and after moving the family to St.Catharines Ontario to find consistent work, he help found and build another Emmanuel Baptist Church there. If we are all parts of the body of Christ, Dad was definitely the hands, as he never tired of serving others and building Christ’s church.

LIFE LESSON FOUR
REGARDLESS OF YOUR PAST, YOUR PAIN OR YOUR PROBLEMS, GOD CAN ALWAYS USE A WILLING SERVANT TO IMPACT THE LIVES OF OTHERS.

SCENE 5 – THE FAMILY MAN

On one of his visits back to Manitoba, Dad was driving down the street and saw the girl of his dreams walking down the street. And I mean that literally – he had had a dream of the woman he was going to marry, and that day he saw her - my mom - walking down the street. He quickly arranged a meeting and things must have gone well, because 3 weeks later they were engaged, and 3 months later they were married. Like everything else in his life, once he set his mind to something, he pursued it 120%.

They married in Manitoba in 1958 and settled back in St.Catharines where Dad was working in construction at the time. My brother Jake was born in 59 and Dave followed soon after late in 1960. Mom and Dad built their dream house in 62 around the same time my brother Dan was born. He persisted in his devotion to his family as he made sure his dream house had room enough for his Mother and sisters as well – allowing him always to be close at hand when they needed him.

Life was pretty good back in the mid 60s, Mom and Dad, 3 young sons, a new house and the rest of the extended family close at hand. Dad was running a painting business with his brother Alex by this time, their church was vibrant and growing - it was pretty much suburban Canadiana at its best. Then along came Son #4.

I was born in 67 and pretty early on it was clear I was not going to be a healthy bouncing baby boy. I was born with a nasty mix of allergies and asthma that were aggravated by the climate and industry around the Niagara area. I spent a good chunk of my first 3 years in a hospital, usually separated from the world by an oxygen tent – sort of a bubble boy for the first few yes of my life. And that forced my parents into perhaps the hardest decision of their lives. The doctors told them that if they wanted me to have any semblance of a normal life they had to move out of the area ASAP.

Of course there was no real decision to be made, Dad was always the protector and provider and would do anything he needed to do to take care of one the ones he loved. So once again he left behind a life he loved, his Mother and siblings, his friends and the church they built, a good job and beautiful home. They moved to Kitchener in 1970 and started over. Dad took a job as a janitor, or “maintenance engineer” as I like was more likely to call it, at the University of Waterloo. The money wasn't great, but the job was stable and had great benefits.

I’ll always remember we didn't have much but he always made sure we had enough.

LIFE LESSON FIVE
KIDS ARE A PRECIOUS GIFT, A TREMENDOUS RESPONSIBILITY, AND THE ONLY LEGACY WE’LL REALLY LEAVE BEHIND – SO ACT ACCORDINGLY

SCENE 6 – FATHER AND GRANDFATHER

The 70s and 80s saw us settling into our KW lives. The dramatic life changing events slowed down for a time and - as I was finally on the scene - I can share from personal experience what it was like to live and learn day by day with Dad.

So what was he like as a father? Well, we must start by remembering that just as he was reaching the age where all us guys finally start coming to the realization that our Dad’s might actually be able to teach us a thing or two, his father was taken away from him and his world was turned upside down by war. For a man raised a world without Oprah, before What to Expect When You’re Expecting, before men were allowed to share their “feelings” and before the Internet put the wisdom of the ages at our fingertips – well he didn't do half bad. He was a quiet leader, a generous provider, he taught us respect, to look out for ourselves and our family, and always lend a hand when we could.

He was a true servant. The biggest group of memories I have from those days is of him fixing or painting or chopping or nailing. He was always looking for something to work on. His idea of a holiday was simply going to a different place to find new odd jobs to tackle there. It wasn't till much later in life that mom finally convinced him to slow down a little enjoy a beach vacation down south, or surprise of all surprises, several trips to the Middle East to visit my Aunt Gerturd – although I suspect he got his hands dirty with some projects over there as well.

He was a man of faith and taught us the value of prayer and that true love manifested itself in service to others. He was always active at church, an usher, a deacon, an Elder – driving or cooking or fixing something. And at some point each day he could always be found reading his bible, his love for the word never wavered right up to the end. I still have a passion for reading that I trace back to seeing him every day in our living room with his bible open on his lap.

Was he perfect? Of course not…. He was a strict disciplinarian and not real open to negotiation once angered, he was never one for public displays of affection, usually stubborn as a mule once he’d made up his mind, was more likely to try and motivate you with criticism rather than praise, and I don’t have too many memories of him playing with me as a child. I know what MY kids are thinking right now…are you describing Opa or yourself? Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

But here is the redeeming part of all that for me – the part that gives me hope when I’m having a bad parenting day….. Despite all his parenting “deficiencies”, he still managed to turn out some pretty OK kids. And even more amazing - once he became a grandfather all those negative things I remembered miraculously reversed themselves overnight. Discipline was suddenly off his radar, he hugged and kissed and cried like never before, he was full of praise and curiosity, and seeing him crawling around on the floor playing with their the kids was a regular site. Babysitters cursed Opa because he was always first in line to look after the kids. A man who couldn't swim until he hit his 50s took it upon himself to regularly take my kids to pool and make sure they learned how to, usually with a stop at McDonald's or Pizza Hut on the way home. And he never tired of trying new things if the kids were involved…from Monster truck shows to building Lego to watching football games he barely understood and endless hours in hockey areas that were usually way too cold for a man his age - he never voluntarily missed one of the kids activities. I think my kids would say he was the kind of Opa every child should have in their lives.

LIFE LESSON SIX

YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD TO MEND YOUR WAYS OR TRY NEW THINGS, EVEN MONSTER TRUCKS.

SCENE 7 – THE FINAL CHAPTER

In 2006 I followed in my father’s footsteps and asked if he and Mom would be interested in moving in with Connie and me. We were going through some life change at the time and shifting our priorities and thinking more about family and simplicity and building faith-centric relationships into our kids’ lives – so we sought out a house where he and Mom could live independently but under the same roof as us.

For Dad I think our move to Elmira was turning back the clock for him, living in a smaller agricultural community, where the clip-clop of horses can always be heard, sharing a multi-generational home and being a daily participant in his extended family’s lives.

And that was his life for the past 7 years, keeping busy maintaining our large yard, making time for long walks and play times with our little dog Cooper, attending the constant barrage of his grandkids activities, keeping active in his church, and occasionally letting Mom tear him away from all that to take a vacation someplace warm.

These final 6 months were a new challenge for him, but one he faced without fear or regret. He told me shortly after his cancer diagnosis that he was ready to be called home to heaven any time, and I guess this week God needed something painted or fixed up in heaven so he called up the best man for the job.

LIFE LESSON SEVEN
I HAVE TO GO BACK TO LESSON 1 - CHERISH YOUR MOMENTS WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS; YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY WILL END.

So in closing, I don’t need to remind any of you that Family was definitely his focus, and he especially cherished the gathering of family together …. it would make him smile today to see how many of his family and friends have gathered here to celebrate his life. Someone shared with me earlier this week - that however hard these few days will be, it will also be a unique gathering of family and friends that will never be repeated, and he urged me to try and enjoy and embrace this day – both its laughter and its tears. I would encourage you all to do the same. Be generous with your hugs, let your tears flow and your laughter fill these halls - and join with in celebrating Dad’s life - his legacy, his love and the God he served so faithfully.

WEB EXCLUSIVE BONUS STORY

I edited this out of the live version to save time...but wanted to include it here.....

One story that exemplified this and how my Dad love to bless us without making it obvious – in Grade 7 I would walk by a small arcade on my way to and from school. Eventually I started stopping in and started playing a few games. One day I was out of quarters and really wanted to play, so after Dad left for work I snuck into his room and reached into his suit jacket where I knew he usually kept some loose change. I was sneaky so I didn’t empty the pocket, I simply grabbed a quarter or 2 assuming he’d never miss them. This happened once a week at first, then 2 or three times. I know – I was bad boy – but here’s the funny part – the quarters never ran out, and Dad never said a word about it – in fact soon whole rolls of quarters were weighing down the jacket pocket, more than he’d ever practically carry in there. I fed my habit from that pocket for the better part of a year - I must have gone through more than a hundred dollars in quarters - until I grew tired of those video games and gave them up. But never once did the quarter supply ever dwindle and never once did bring it up.